


Can't Lose You

by sagebrush



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, F/M, General.. war trauma I guess??, Panic, Talk of near death experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27127807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagebrush/pseuds/sagebrush
Summary: After you almost don't make it back from a dogfight, Poe confronts you.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Can't Lose You

**Author's Note:**

> Time for my favorite flyboy!! I'm still getting used to the formatting for AO3, so if it looks a little weird, I'm sorry. Hope y'all enjoy this one, and feel free to let me know what you think!

The rush of air as the cockpit of your X-wing opened up was a welcome feeling. You took a moment to breathe in, the air so different from the sterile, recycled air in your ship. You could hear the bustle of medics and mechanics rushing to aid your fellow pilots who weren’t as lucky as you.  
Today was a near miss. Perhaps the biggest near miss of your whole flying career. You wish you could tell yourself that your gut knew you would make it out, but that would be a blatant lie. Deep down, you knew it was sheer luck, and maybe some help from the Maker that got you out of that dogfight today.  
If someone asked you how you even got out of it, you wouldn't know what to tell them. The rush of adrenaline was just now wearing off, and to be honest, you could barely remember what happened.  
Still, that fresh air, tainted with the smell of fuel and ashes, helped you come back to reality. You took your helmet off and began to descend the stairs of your X-wing. Closing your eyes as your feet touched solid ground, you took one more deep breath in. Maker, you prayed no one would speak to you, even look at you. You just want to get to your room, get to the fresher, and just maybe begin to process how you almost didn’t come back today.  
Your bones ached. That kind of ache that makes you wonder how you're still standing. As you turned around, you set your helmet on a workbench next to your ship, and you began the journey back to your room. You kept your eyes to the floor and tried to somehow tell everyone to leave you alone without saying a word.  
You turned the corner out of the main hangar. The hallway smelled a little less like grease. Thank God. You were almost home free.  
“Lieutenant!”  
Oh no. You kept walking, hoping somehow he wouldn’t follow you.  
“Lieutenant, stop right there!” You could hear the anger in your commander’s voice. Almost out of instinct, your feet stopped moving.  
“Not now,” you thought. “Please, I can’t do this now.”  
You kept your back to him, making him swing in front of you to face you. Poe’s face would be a relief to see any other time, but you knew what was coming.  
“What the fuck was that today?” He leaned in. He was the kind of angry that's quiet, almost the worst kind.  
“You almost fucking died an hour ago, and you walk out of the hangar like nothing happened?” He was close now, too close. You could smell that signature x-wing soot smell on him. You just stood there, eyes closed now, hoping that you could just wait this out.  
“You’re one of my best pilots out there. You can not be that reckless. Don’t you ever do that again, you hear me?”  
You could barely push a response out of your lungs.  
“Yes, commander.” You couldn’t fucking breath with him this close to you. How was he expecting you to respond when you hadn’t even fully comprehended what happened? Who was he to be mad at you? You lost just as many comrades as him today. You wanted to yell and scream at him. You wanted to tell him that you were so fucking scared, that you didn’t mean to. You saw a chance, you took it, it ended badly, and you have no clue how you are standing on your own two feet. Instead your voice failed you. So you stood there with a pissed off Commander Dameron still expecting an actual answer.  
“Listen, I can’t have my best pilot-”  
That’s it. You can’t do this anymore. You don’t even care that he’s your superior. You can’t hold it together, so you break. As soon as one tear escaped, you buried your head in your hands, trying to breath.  
Poe was immediately taken aback. He shut his mouth right there, moving his head down to your level to try to search for an answer. He couldn’t catch your facial expression before you hid it from him. His brows furrowed in hesitation as he felt his chest tighten at the sight before him. His eyes darted around in a quiet panic, trying to decide which way to comfort you the best. Poe then decided to throw caution to the wind.  
“Woah, hey, baby, slow down,” Poe whispered as he acted. He put his hand on your shoulder and ushered you to a more secluded section of the hallway. He could feel your shoulders rise and fall rapidly with your unstable breathing.  
“Listen, baby, I need you to breathe, okay? Just nice and steady with me.” Your eyes met his as you began to match his breathing. You could feel him bring your head into his chest for a comforting embrace.  
As you stood there shaking in his arms, you could hear him whispering over and over into your ear, “You’re okay, babe. You’re here, and you’re okay.” You leaned into him even more.  
“Fuck okay, I’m here. I’m here, and so is Poe, and I’m back and I’m alive,” you thought, “Almost died, but I’m okay, breathe. You’re alive, Y/N.” Tears still flowed, but you felt yourself slowly coming back. With a deep breath, you broke away from his chest. You rubbed your face with your hands, then moved to meet his eyes.  
“Hey, there’s my girl.” He sent a soft smile your way.  
“I’m sorry, I just-” You began.  
“Don’t. Don’t say sorry. It’s me who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have been angry with you. I guess I just,” he paused for a moment, “When I saw you almost go down today, I- I almost panicked.” He was speaking to you with a rawness and sincerity that you rarely saw from the confident pilot.  
“I’m sorry, I’m not mad. I’m just really fuckin’ glad you made it back, and you probably haven’t even caught your breath yet, so I’m sorry I bombarded you, and-”  
“Poe.”  
“I don’t even know why I-”  
“Poe,” you tried once more to get his attention.  
“I guess I-, oh, sorry, yes?”  
“It’s okay. I just,” you took in another deep breath, “I just hadn’t processed that I almost didn’t make it. Thanks for calming me down.”  
“Anytime, really,” he smiles sincerely. You pull him in for one more embrace, feeling his arms around you ground you back to reality even more. You both emerge from the secluded corner of the hall. His hand lingered on the small of your back for just a moment.  
“Poe?”  
“Yes?”  
“Am I really your best pilot?”  
He chuckled, a hand going to brush his curls out of his face.  
“That’s what you got from what I said?” You smiled back at him and shrugged your shoulders.  
“No, sorry sweetheart, you must have been dreaming,” he teased as he leaned in once more. He knew he wasn't fooling you.  
“Don’t tell the others that I said that, okay?”  
“Thank you. And don’t worry, commander, your secret is safe with me.” You send him a mock salute. He winked at you, and you both turned away to finally get some rest.


End file.
